Wrote this a while ago to entertain the family, hope it entertains you – matters wine-y will be restored later today…

My teddy has been in the washing machine

My teddy has been in the washing machine
My teddy has been in the spinner
He said it was scary, he tried to be brave
But it’s put my friend quite off his dinner

My teddy has been in the washing machine
My ted said it got rather warm
When the drum started turning and churning as well
It was just like a tropical storm

And then all these wonderful bubbles appeared
As the Persil was slowly released
But they got in his eye (and he started to cry)
And they made the poor chap want to sneeze

He decided to bury his head in a sock
To cover his eyes, nose and ears
He probably looked a bit silly, he said,
But at least no one else saw his tears

Once the cycle had finished, he found himself pegged
On the washing line till he had dried
‘Twas a day he’s reluctant to ever repeat –
Now he’s nestling into my side

My teddy has been in the washing machine
And no longer smells so much of sweat
You couldn’t quite make out the colour of his coat
Now he’s brown like the day we first met

He seems taller, and thinner, and lumpier too
And some of his fur has uncurled
My teddy has been in the washing machine
But he’s still the best bear in the world

© Simon Woods